on Realizing You Are Everyone (and then pushing back)

Now THIS is Italy.

The sun is shining, after all.

Like in all the travel pamphlets.

Travel is, for many, a search for authenticity. We travel because we somehow see "realness" as belonging to other places, other things. We expect, even, to find the realness of ourselves in a new landscape. But we find we interact with the newness in the only way we know how: through a system of signifiers and signified. This system is what defines the tourist. Tourists look for proxies for culture - the landmarks that tell us we've reached a true point of immersion. We are all tourists. And yet, standing before the David, we somehow feel superior to those gawking next to us, with their guidebooks and hushed whispers about "gosh, I didn't know he was so tall!" We establish barriers between these people and ourselves, even as we both search for the same immersion. "Good thing we're not like them...that would be embarrassing." In doing so, we are solidifying our status as "tourist," by refusing to acknowledge the ways in which we, ourselves, are performing tourism.

So I wonder a lot about traveling "authentically." I wondered before I left and I wonder now, in the midst of my purported traveling. We tend to ascribe true authentic travel to some bygone era, when wealthy, young, cultured crowds boarded steamships, well-worn maps in hand, waving handkerchiefs to the shore, off to see the world. There is something to be said for this vision because it recalls a time before travel was a commodity like it is today. When the world felt as massive as it is and we hadn’t plastered images of its wonders on every magazine cover, potholder, coffee mug, and tote bag. But while this notion of travel had its advantages – and certainly its glamour – the downside was its exclusivity. In days of yore, embarking on adventure was reserved for only the most privileged. Few would argue that a more accessible world is a good thing. But then the question for the traveler becomes, how do we reclaim sights and experiences that have become products being sold to the masses? How do we find the wonderment and spontaneity that we seek in traveling?

As with most of the tough questions we ask, the answers come from looking to ourselves. Since I am now a well-seasoned world traveler after one full month in a foreign country, I have taken the liberty of assembling several obligations I see the traveler as having:

• Empty yourself of expectations. Do not project your preconceived landscape onto the landscape in front of you. This place you are in is far superior in its complexity and beauty to anything you could have imagined.
• In a similar vein, abandon the notion that this place somehow “owes” you an experience. You are not in a theme park. You are amongst real people, living their real lives, in a town/city/country that has no obligation to roll out the red carpet for you.
• Don’t worship “authentic.” Just because a restaurant/pub/café is off the beaten path, doesn’t mean you’re suddenly going to become a citizen by patronizing said establishment. Besides, it will probably be full of other Americans looking for an “authentic” experience.
• Learn to be OK with being uncomfortable. Lean into it. You probably are long overdue for feeling this level of discomfort. Feeling awkward, out of place, clumsy, misunderstood, looked down on…these are all good things. You need to feel them. Stop trying to make yourself comfortable.
• Do what you can to understand present-day culture. This is especially relevant, being in Italy. Yes, know your art history. If nothing else, it will help you navigate the Uffizi like a pro. But realize that culture doesn’t end with Botticelli. Learn about the social fabric of the country/city. What are the big political issues? Race issues? Is unemployment a major concern? This will force you to travel consciously, as well as to truly understand the place you’re in.
• Try to avoid being obnoxious. At all costs. Pretty self-explanatory but it somehow always needs to be said. Stumbling through the streets, screaming as loud as humanly possible about how you “just want some gelato” in a country that is not your own is akin to walking into a strangers’ house, raiding their refrigerator and asking to change the channel. It’s rude and universally socially unacceptable. Don’t do it
• Travel lightly and travel sustainably. If you are leaving a giant footprint in your wake, try to reconsider your habits. This certainly varies from place to place and contrary to the cheeky statement above, I'm no expert. It just comes down to being mindful. 
• Last but not least, for those who have done all of the above: let yourself be swept away. Marvel at everything. Allow yourself to be moved by absolutely anything that moves you. Nourish the sense of wonderment you have and should have about the place you’re in. Everything is beautiful if you know how to appreciate it. You are responsible for crafting the experience you’re looking for, so seek out the things that make your heart swell and burst. Adventure often and deeply. You will find what you need.