One month. In one month's time, this program will officially come to an end. I will have "studied abroad" - the box will have a check. Luckily and necessarily, I will remain in Europe until May 19th, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my mom and Grandma on the 9th. But most of my journeys will be behind me, and I will be preparing to board a flight home. And until this very moment, I wasn't sentimental. Until this very moment, I was consumed: consumed with figuring out plans for dinner, plans for this summer, plans for next semester...plans, plans, plans. I was consumed with my own emotion: am I processing all of this? Why am I not in a state of complete happiness and fulfillment at all times? Am I benefiting from being abroad? Why do things feel so routine, if I'm in another country? And then I saw Italy, my experience, my processing, through the eyes of a beloved.
Having Jessica here for a week engaged my whole heart. I was joining my worlds, in the sweetest, most unobtrusive way possible. I got to wander the streets holding her hand, got to stand beside her as we gazed up at the Duomo, got to watch her eat her first gelato (and her second...and her third...), and most touching, I got to witness her fall irrevocably in love with the two people I have been calling "mamma" and "papa" for the past 3 months. Italy reintroduced itself to me when it imprinted itself on Jess's soul. And even now, with her back home safely in our hometown, I am looking over her stunning pictures and finding myself short of breath, my airways blocked by a swelling heart. While I was busy trying to find meaning in every stone building and cyprus tree, Italy was enchanting me. And not with the fanfare and uninterrupted bliss that I expected, but with quiet, humble patience. In this moment, I am feeling my Italy course through me and it is expansive, it is vibrant, it is loving. I don't have to worry anymore because I know what I am coming away with. And it is enough to fill every inch of me.
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